Sunday, 29 November 2009

Blackrope Heights III





She was still waiting. There were some roads that she may have considered taking, but in the end she decided to stay inside the old house at the left corner, hidden behind the oak at the end of the hill.

Nobody had seen her in a very long time, and yet she could see no one approaching her door. At first, her disappearance had been just a rumor suspended in the midst of the words whispered ear to ear in the village. The grass had grown outside her house, reaching the path towards to top of the hill, but you could hardly see any soul crossing that spot in the town to reach the top. There where the mystery still lied.


Her house was majestic, its roots carved and settled inside the pit of the rocks of the mountain. It had once been the first reunion place in Blackrope Heights. People came in and left their blessings, shared their hopes, drunk with pleasure. It was back then when they were two.

One day, he left. In the night, silent, stolen from the bed where he had hugged the love of his life for countless nights. No word, no written note, no trace of footprints from outside. He just vanished and she never had any news from him.

Months, years, and a decade followed and she was still alone.

The window used to be her mirror, day and night. She would spend her time diving into the images of her brain mixed with her own reflection at dusk. Slowly her image faded, erased by the rusting weight of her thoughts in the sands of dusting time.

She forgot the light, and embraced the dark. Her bed was always open, and yet she never got back to it. Her lustful body remained intact. White and soft, naked under the spell of the moon's embrace. She gave away her desires, her dreams and her happiness to pay the price to keep all the melancholy inside her. She fed on the anxiety and learned to be one with her. Present and Future dissolved under the acid touch of doom.

And finally she ceased to breathe, to care, to move. But her eyes did not close. She stared and glanced through the window outside the world that used to be hers. Inside, all was dead and black, forgotten and abandoned. Lonely and mourning, her organs gave up and remained motionless too. The pulse slowly fading, the blood drying under the last sounds of drums from her heart.

....

And one night, the legends say some neighbors could hear a horse walk up to the last house, on the left corner behind the old oak. And old woman still says she swears she saw a black shadow emerge from the own oak's reflection under the full moon light. The shadow knocked on the door, and after some minutes of wait it finally left on the horse again. Instead of returning downhill toward the river, the mysterious knight continued his path uphill towards the cross on the top where nobody dared to go. And then all became as black as it had once been. The woman claims the shadow eclipsed her vision of the moon and that no trace of light could be seen any more during that night.

"The shadow swallowed the moon and didn't return it to the sun"

A man was there on the river side the following morning, listening to the woman's words about the events of the previous night . He listened to the story and then let his horse drink some water while he walked towards Blackrope Heights. Nobody had seen this man before, and yet he seemed to know where he was going. He ascended towards the old oak and entered the blinding light that covered the space beyond it. The door opened to him and he got in finally, leaving all that he had lived behind him.

He entered the bedroom and found the bed just has he had left it. He could smell her perfume, the sweet essence of his love that he had always kept in his heart and soul during the enduring moments he had been forced to live. He followed the trace of her beloved to the window. There, right before the window glass he found three red blood pearls, the last tears from her wife resting solid as a witness of her presence.

And finally he looked through the window. He touched the webs that collapsed his vision towards the outside landscape. When he'd done that he could finally see her, arms stretched and loving eyes looking at him from the outside. He cried and touched the image from inside and stayed like this for the rest of his time.

.....

The legend says that during the night of full moon in November, if you dare to visit the last house in town, behind the shadow of the old oak you will see the beautiful statue of the most gorgeous woman Blackrope Heights ever had, next to the right side of the abandoned mansion. Her hands are placed on the window glass, her eyes looking inside the house...

...if you dare to enter the house at your own risk, you will see another statue. A man is standing beside the window in the bedroom. His hands are touching the hands reflected from the other side of the window. If you stand there for enough time, right where the lovers touch, the moon light will entirely disappear into the surface of the lovers' stones. And maybe, just maybe, you will disappear too.

Thursday, 12 November 2009



A veces soy incapaz de traspasar con mis deseos la fina tela de piel formada alrededor de mi cuerpo. Si la miras en el espejo, te asombrará no encontrarla allí. Cuando la buscas bajo tu camisa descubres que se ha evaporado, y sin embargo nunca te ha abandonado. Sabes que está contigo y que nunca se despega de tí.


Se ha formado día tras día, impulsada por el tejer de las agujas del tiempo, movidas estratégicamente por la araña gigante y repulsiva del tiempo. Se fija en tí, se amolda a tus latidos y traza sus pasos en tus párpados, en tus manos, en tu cuello. Poco a poco se apodera de tí cual sopor nocturno, visible únicamente en la oscuridad espiritual del individuo.


La mirada se empequeñece, los abrazos duelen y los miembros se endurecen para no volver a suavizarse...como el rostro de una joven esperando la promesa de un mañana que nunca llegará. Las lágrimas ya no tocan la cara, se deslizan por el cuerpo sin dejar huella que te haga sentir tu humanidad. Te mueves con pereza, bebes con fiereza por hacer pugnar tu cuerpo bajo la esclavitud de la capa de indiferencia.


Luchas, pierdes, sufres, y no obtienes respuesta en tu interior.


Finalmente, la capa se cierra, te ahogas y desesperas. La ceguera te invade y desconoces la diferencia entre el día y la noche. El año se convierte en mes, y los días son tragos de odio que no puedes vomitar. La agonía continúa hasta que por fín notas un cambio. Tu nueva piel ha encontrado un hueco, un abismo desde el que te llenará de oscuridad, la conexión entre tu alma y tu cuerpo, el cordón umbilical de la hecatombe se ve reactivado.


Los órganos la sienten, la brisa de un soplo de polvo esparcido sobre las vísceras...la ceniza de un pasado se posa por dentro y no puedes toser. Ya no hay mañana, ni ayer ni los quizás y tampoco. La oscuridad ha penetrado en tí y te ha desposeído de toda tu humanidad. Tu alma es negra, viscosa, pestilenta y moribunda.


Una noche te miras al espejo y tú tampoco estás. Te has marchado y no has dejado nada.

Monday, 9 November 2009

Darkness

I will start talking since I don't want to lose my sanity. I woke up in this darkness, alone in an absolute darkness. There is nothing around, at least I can't see it. I don't even know if I'm standing or if I'm lying somewhere. All I know is that I am alone in a place I have never been to, and in a situation never experienced.
 
You may wonder how I have arrived to this point. I wish I could tell you that. I wish you could tell me where I am, and what am I doing here. My name is Allison and I am a 21 year old girl from Bath, England. I am a student of Art and I dedicate my life to the paintings. If you want to know me the best advise I can give you is to go to my flat and look at my drawings. Don't worry about the keys, you will find them under the rug just before the door. I've never feared any burglars since I don't really own anything, and I doubt regular thieves will appreciate any of my inside world.

All of these things don't seem to matter much since I have no connection to anything here. I cannot tell you how I am, since I ignore if it's cold or warm in here. In fact I cannot trust most of my senses any longer since there is nothing I can relate to here. All I can know is that I hear my voice when I speak, that is why I have decided to look out for a friendly being.
You may think I am dead, but if so how come I can speak? That means some of my organs are alive. I am unable to verify some of these things though. I have tried to move and touch myself to aknowledge some of these basic truths...I have touched something but I'm not sure if it's mine...that was the first moment I felt some fear...It wasn't me, but it was human; I felt someone's nose, I apologised and talked in that direction, but i didn't get any answer. Some moments later I tried to touch that nose again and it wasn't there...that's when I felt I was alone. I moved my body in all directions and realised there is no gravity here. I could turn in all directions but i didn't find anything physical. Somehow I started losing my fear then. I started feeling free...I could even feel some fresh air caressing my hair...but I am not sure of it either.

Some moments later -the notion of time here is unknown to me- I started seeing something in front of me. I drew my body towards that blurry point in the space and tried to get closer. It was a ladder. I tried to climb and I could ascend in what it seemed quite a fast pace...But it never ended. The air seemed cooler in that region, and I felt lighter with each motion.
I spent quite a long time over there, trying to meet someone, in an attempt to know where I was. I got no answer and after a while I decided to go down the ladder again. The descending part was nicer, and I could even feel scared I could fall into the darkness...
The lower part of the stair had no end either. At least I couldn't find it. The air grew thicker down there...I felt warmer and I even started laughing without a reason. I decided I was going to stay there then. It felt nice over there, joy invading me and making me feel so good...

I could still see nothing, feel nothing...but my memories started coming back. I could remember Sarah, my girlfriend. She had that perfect smile...Oh God! I wish I could kiss her again, feel her presence around me...she makes me feel at peace with myself. She's always been there for me, even when things started getting difficult. When the cancer got me she didn't leave me. She came to live to my appartment and made me feel everything was normal, everything was all right. Sarah made me know how love is within a smile, in a sweet morning kiss with the sun erasing the mortality of the human flesh.

I started feeling lonely in that moment. Sarah wasn't here and I started crying. I don't know how long I kept on sobbing...But somehow I wasn't scared at any time. I just felt I needed someone to be with me in this darkness. That desire to avoid loneliness made me climb the ladder again.
And here I am, back where I woke up. I left the ladder and I didn't fall into anything, so i decided to try and fall asleep again...maybe it was all a dream after all...I would get up and Sarah would bring me some hot tea to bed and tell me we were going to get dressed and go to a new gallery exhibition. I would jump towards her and we would make love until she would ask me to stop... I would take her hand and we would walk next to the seaside and hear the seagulls talk into the shore...

I think I fell asleep at that moment. But I woke up and I knew this wasn't a dream anymore...I was here again. This time I could see some more. It was still dim but you could see something. Now I can't see any ladder but I can see my body. I am suspended in the air, if you want to know. I am wearing a beautiful white dress that I don't remember having bought...
I heard a sound and that's when i decided to talk to you. I wondered If the sound was coming in your direction and If you would take me back to light. You haven't done anything yet. I guess you would do it if you could, and maybe you will at some moment.

Can you tell me why I can't see my feet any more? They're slowly dissapearing...Why is there a light above? Why is it that I don't feel any pain in my dissapearing legs? My flesh is burning and melting and I feel so good...The darkness is swallowing me, grabbing my body with its grasp, staining my fancy dress of fortune...
I can taste the darkness in my mouth now...it tastes like Sarah

Tuesday, 3 November 2009