Sunday, 20 March 2011

End Credits

You can feel the anxiety growing and there is nothing you can do to stop it. It wants to get out, and there is no exit. It rages inside you, your senses growing in despair, the need to finish it all makes you impatient. It bumps against the corners of your body, the veins trying in vain to contain the fury of the angst pulsing itself out of you with every beat of your heart. You want to bleed yourself out and the end seems so far away. You want to taint it all with the black of your soul, you want the reflection to show the dark within you and leave no trace of remorse. You want the rest of them to bleed yourself outside of you.

You wish someone could free you from the pain of an agonizing egotistic frame that can no longer hold the worst side of you. No one can paint the most idyllic image of your most adored self.

And you know there is no one out there. No one believes in you anymore. You have failed, rather miserably and the all hope has expired. No more expectations, the fears have been spread all over you without mercy. Devoured by your own fate you are slowly waiting for the end that will never come.

Here in the limbo, suspended in the hollow air I wait for the nothing to free me from the something. Useless, hopeless and broken. It will all end, and I can no longer end it myself.

Free fall, talentless wait...at last my heart bleeds out of me. No more I feel, no more I expect.

Blood, just blood is me.

Flow,
dream,
fade

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